The Slow Flow

This blog post is a little personal.

I guess you could say its been a short minute since I took the time to just sit around and think. Don't misunderstand me, I relax. I take time to enjoy life, when I can, being grateful and in awe of the ever changing world we live in. But heres the deal: All last year, and for several years prior, I have very vivid memories of all my excessive planning. The jobs, the projects, the collaborations. The time, and planning of everything, so precise and perfect. The calendars, notebooks, and journals filled with notes and reminders was a large amount, and the amount of sleep I retained those years were less. For a fact, I drank more coffee last year, than I imagine I will ever consume again, even over the course of the rest of my lifetime. I remember many feelings of anxiousness. Am I producing enough? Am I taking the right steps? It's that little voice inside your head that will get you.

I took some serious steps back. Why am I doing this? Why am I trying, so consistantly, to build and establish a name, and a concept that people will understand, and appreciate, and be able to interact with and contribute to? The obvious answer is that it needs to be done. On a more honest note, I can openly say I know I haven't received all my reasons yet. Some of what I do I just do, and I know its purpose will be unravelled before me at the right time. But another reason for this is FREEDOM. Last year I remember having so many compelling conversations with my ex-boss about liberation, both physical and mental. One of our somewhat satisfying conclusions was that we both realized that real freedom only really exists in your mind. But If I can make freedom exist in my own mind, and use an enlightening perspective, and communication to convey these thoughts into someone elses equally open mind, will freedom not expand?

From personal experience, I'd have to say yes. So then back to the basics.., If the focus here is freedom, and the art of expression in lou of that freedom, whats the rush? Anxiety, Suzie?

I slowed down a bit. I realized seriously that its not how many, or how quickly, but how expressive, and reflective the projects that I'm doing are, and what they are saying about me as an individual. But also not so much planning. I've learned over the years now to trust myself to know the ideas and concepts are all right here, inside me, There is no need for the stress-planning, the re-arranging, and tightening of the schedule. Everything that needs to be done will be done at its perfect time. Not a moment sooner.

Also I got a new tattoo last week :),

Inspired by my 2015 Clothing line: Floral Frippery. <3