The Creative Intuitive Instinct

I have always felt in tune with my intuition. I guess I feel that if you pay attention to the collection of feelings inside you enough, you will be able to literally feel the off balance of emotions within, based on whatever it is in life that your selling yourself short of. A few of my favorite motivational speakers have said the same thing: when we compromise, we cannot express 100% of our true being, or even feel those emotions, because to some extent, we've cut ourselves off from who we intend to be.

I've touched on this before in my "about me" section, but I definitely feel its important to dig a little deeper. I've worked to support myself since 17, when I first moved back to Canada. The first three years were quite a transition, as I travelled throughout the country looking for a preffered location to call home. During this time I travelled from Kamloops, to Fort St. John, to Toronto, and finally to my current home in Kelowna. It felt right to me as soon as I arrived here, even though it seemed like the circumstances which brought me to Kelowna were wrong. I quickly changed the circumstances, and continued my freelance modeling career instantaniously (I had previous experience in modeling/acting from my short time in Toronto). Along side my quickly growing passion, I always worked. I did retail, coffee shops, tractor stores, promo work, admin work, labor work; you name it.

Often throughout my work experience I found myself feeling a bit different from my colleages and co-workers. I've found there are people I come across that I feel I was meant to meet, and they were meant to be in my life at that time at that place. I also feel that sometimes I meet people I do not mesh with, which makes me question my own presence in said place at said time.

I am not one to settle. I searched years and years for love before I met my perfect Michael. Shortly before meeting him I experienced a fabulous positive reminance inside me of knowing that whether I lived my life alone, or with someone, I would give myself the proper amount of love no matter what. I was prepared to live alone, and I knew how to give myself the love and support I had previously so longed for from someone else. Ironically, shortly after filling this void inside myself, Michael came into my life. He is my soulmate, and I thank God everyday for the gift of his presence.

In other aspects of my life I have not settled. I am still searching for the perfect work environment to meet my personal standards: a place where I feel comfortable, with a team of people that knows and appreciates my contribution as I do theirs.

In the meantime, I launch and grow my very own company. In a life where I feel 100% responsible for 100% of my decisions, working for myself and building my very own team of people that understand my motives and goals just makes sense. With so much insentive to create, build, and structure the perfect work environment, I sometimes feel lost working in the midst of someone elses vision. The bottom line here is that I am excited, for the soon to come days when my business will grow to such levels that I will be forced to render any other employment opportunities, and focus soley on my design, model, and coordinating capabilities. Feel encouraged my fellows artistic friends, and know that with time, experience, and knowledge, we will rise to exactly where we are meant to be. And most of all: don't settle!

Photography credit to Okanagan Photography and second shooter El Ningen. Dress by Genessa Jackson at Blackdressesonline.com