Freedom of thought

Happy Saturday :)

I was in no rush to make plans this weekend. Since a few months back, I had planned to go out of town for a work trip this weekend. It wasn't something I was overly thrilled about, but it was something I was prepared to do. After a series of fortunate events which lead me to make a serious work path change, the weekend became free to me once again.

Normally I'd be cramming to fill the days with collaborationons and projects to make myself feel as though the time is not being wasted. Lately though, I don't feel like I need to do that. I think I can mostly thank design for that. Many who know me have not had the pleasure of seeing my living room, but if you came there, you would see the ongoing flow of projects and designs that keeps me occupied.

Before I designed, I felt I had a lot of anxiety in my life. Loads of worry, from an excessive amount of expression that had no way of flowing through or out of me. I guess I never really understood the importance of pinpointing what really drove me since young. Or maybe thats not true..... I remember my mom always being very crafty. I loved that about her. She made the coolest things. She could do woodwork, or crafts with the kids she taught ( she was a teacher). But when it came down to it, I never really capacitated the idea of my creativity or my artistic capabilities being something I could dedicate myself to fulltime, as a career. I felt restrained in my career choices, not understanding that I really could do whatever I wanted, as I'd always been told I could. In an upraising of extreme religion, fashion was quite far fetched. I felt like my creative talents were a waisted in a world where they were not neccessary, or practical. At 12 -14, when we would return to Canada for short intervals I would look to magazines and photos for inspirations. I bought a few one afternoon, but quickly got a talking-to about the sins of the media and magazines, specifically, that left me feeling so guilty I had a hard time picking one up for a few years. I obviously threw the ones I had bought in the garbage immediately. It's not about the things we see in life, but how we choose to look at them. Loads of brain training has made me aware that I don't have to live in a realm of what was, and what has happened. It is absolutely fair to assume that even a lifetime of trainings and beliefs can be changed, if only I can open up my mind enough to believe it. I find it so comforting to know that no matter what was, or what happened, I have been given the opportunity to be here, now. It is in that here and now that I can structure an environment based on what I choose to believe, which is one of the most fabulous feelings I might ever be able to experience.

Looking back now, on my crafts, sewing projects, and collections of purses, it is obvious to me that I always had a certain level of awareness towards my passion, but for many years I supressed that passion, so much so that I nearly forgot of its existance. Not many know where I've come from, but the truth is, I've come a long way. <3

Photo credit to Conor Teahen