Internal

The year escaped me. I feel as though its really only been hours.. or even minutes. The places, people and experiences often faded far too fast in front of me. I often didn't find the moment until later. It was too late to be in the present then. And again, in thinking about it, I pull myself from the current present.

It doesn't feel its been long enough for a year to have passed. I look back on the year and ask myself, where was I? To some extent I was everywhere, yet to another I was always in the exact same place. In a lot of ways I've begun to understand the density of the internal part of me. Sometimes I feel like my thoughts carry me so far away that I forget where I am, when I'm there.

Photo credit to Okanagan Photography

Second shooter El Ningen

Dress by Genessa Jackson

Its understandable, with all of the responsibilities of life that the pace of the mind may increase to maintain an equal stamina, but is it healthy? I know that in my own life, the balance between financial stability, creative time, and excersize time is essential. It could also be a balance that has been a little off lately. It's also important not to raise the expectation either. Adaptation takes time, and just knowing that the balance will come is often enough. Another instance which brings me to a calm and more present state of mind is knowing that stability is possible. I've seen it time and time again. People live in the same place for several years at a time. They maintain the same careers, and drive the same car. I think there can be calmness of mind, in knowing that even just for a moment, things can stay the same. As much as life is subject to change, there are still moments of timelessness.

As the years compile and I glance behind me every now and again, it becomes more clear than ever how imactful emotions are. Whether they are internal or external, emotions are strong. Its amazing that even when the location and details seem blurry, the emotions appear as clear as day.