Trust & Understanding

Its been a week for me so far in Calgary. I've felt all kinds of ways already. The phase of knowing nothing for a moment, before leaping towards any form of comprehension. The phase of understanding that transition takes time. The phase of learning that my intuition will never lie to me. The phase of coping with the traumatizing voices in the back of my head that are always yelling " more, faster!". The phase of remembering that the timing of everything right now is perfect, and right on track. Everything is exactly where and how it is supposed to be in this moment. There is not one thing in my life that comes to me without reason. Everything is here with purpose and intention. Everywhere I go and everything I see was intended specifically for me, whether I am aware of it or not. The things that I chose were the only things I could have chosen. The variable of my desicion was known by a greater source even before I made it . There was purpose in the things I did yesterday, even if I didn't think so. There was energy and feeling in my interactions even if I didn't experience it. Thank goodness I did.

I was messaged by a longtime Calgary photographer a few weeks ago as he was looking for models for upcoming projects. I met with him yesterday. I've been so blessed to have the most positive of interactions with all who I've met with so far. So much passion and insightful creative feedback. So many projects and visions. As said photographer and I chatted, my consious awareness of opportunity as a model in this city increased by a significant amount. He had so many helpful thoughts and ideas. He also knew a couple people that work directly in areas of interest to me. Less than a week in and I have 1 calgary project under my belt already. Its been exciting and encouraging to embrace just some of the many opportunities that surround me here in this place. I have relied on my intuition and feeling to determine my comfort levels. I have trusted my intelligence in regards to my safety. I search for what I am looking to find with pure intentions. All these things help me experience strong and meaningful interactions.

Throughout all of this, I can also accept the feelings of the those who do not understand me. I can understand that my lifestyle may not be considered traditional, and there may be individuals that are unfamiliar with the life that I live. It is not my place to prove myself. It is my place to accept myself for the person I've become and be that person with dedication and commitment, and also to accept the world around me. Try as I may, my perspective and words may not coinside in the minds of someone who does not have the same perspective as me. What feels natural and safe to me, may feel uncomfortable or dangerous to someone else. What feels terrifying to me may feel completely normal and safe to someone else. This is life.Through out all of my interactions my most important contribution will always be the contribution of understanding, or trying my absolute best to. In personal times of change and confusion, more than any solutions or answers, I loved the comforting words of those who could understand the state I was in. It always feels good to know that someone else truly has been exactly where you are. There is a lot of isolation in the thought that we are the only ones that feel the way we feel. There is freedom in relatability and understanding that lots of other people have felt that way too.

Photo by 689 photography