Perspective & Perseverance

This is kind of different from my ordinary posts, but I've had an experience I feel I need to express.

I had a photo shoot about a week ago that resulted absolutely horribly. Photos aside. Forget about the photos completely. At this point in the message stream had leaped to my definition of verbally disruptive. Regardless of age, portfolio, experience, or feelings, there is a way to communicate with individuals, period.

I cannot remember the last time I felt so many feelings which were not my own being projected upon me; disappointment, anger, discouragement heaping over my shoulders as If I myself held no value in the project or process. As if he was the only one in existence. As if everything offered to him was owed. Self- righteous. I cannot remember the last time I met someone so easy to blame others. So hasty and quick to judge.

I felt enlightened by the way I was able to handle the situation, feeling completely supported and backed up by a big handsome guy running his hands over my shoulders, reading and reaffirming to me what I stand for, and what I value. I had just taken 20 minutes to write out a well plotted and worded email. It was received with about as much gratitude as he showed towards every other effort I had put forth. (Not shown). In that moment I felt a deep empathy inside myself towards an individual too caught up in their own problems and issues to accept the goodness of the world around them. I was sad for his soul.

A flaw of the 21st century perhaps, something I've found twice in the past 6 months in youth (I've worked with): they hide behind technology. Totally different in person: kind, talkative, REAL. Then one week later behind a computer screen, a person you'd wished you'd never made an initial interaction with. I don't understand what keeps people from saying what they want to say. I have never understood. When you are silent in the moment it always comes back to you, but more so it seems to come back to me.

A person unable to practice is a person unable to learn. Time regarded as waste is not time regarded as practice. I thank Jesus I didn't regard my time as wasted. I won't share the set, and I might not even keep it, but I can already see and share a lot about what I've learned from the set.

I will no longer be working with artists/creators I feel do not have relevant or similar intentions to me/with me in what they want to create. I have been blessed to work with numerous individuals that both excel at what they do and replenish my soul. Their kindness and sincerity towards me overflows so much so that they over power the negative dwindling's of a soul I can't say I ever really knew. I can work with them freely and openly and all team members are previously aware of the beauty we will create. No one questions their abilities, and ABSOLUTELY, no one blames anyone else for their inability. I can be emotionally open with these individuals as well, because I know that they are being sincere with me, and their intentions are good.

I feel illuminated by a powerful team of individuals and creators who use art to see outside their insecurities, instead of pulling others in and trying to make them accountable.

Thank you to all of my creative friends who like to keep it creative. Its nice to be able to step away from whatever it is there may be to step away from and express yourself, wholeheartedly and without judgement.

All photos below are credit Conor Teahen!