Heavy

This past year I've allowed myself to branch out in the networking department more than ever before. Connecting with large amounts of people in a very small amount of time has given me an idea of the power of networking. Everyday I learn more about communicating with people online and off. I've also learned more about how to stay energized, how to get energized fast, and how to find energy when I'm feeling exhausted creatively or mentally. I mostly look to motivational speakers and Buddhism proverbs depending on the type of reassurance or guidance I am looking for.

Realizing my thoughts and feelings create my environment/income/level of contentment is life altering to me. Everyday I seek to optimize thought processes and systems of habit in order to maximize daily production and roll with the changes.

The more I practice with elements of thought, the more I notice how important firm belief is. I've met some very spiritual people and from my experiences they're beliefs are quite sacred to them. Many of them do not usually reveal their beliefs to the outside world as they seem to understand that each individual holds their own set of truths. The reason I come to know of these beliefs is because I express a genuine and true interest in knowing. I have always been fascinated by the vast variety of beliefs that smother the globe, and also the corresponding need for many to use the name of religion to manipulate and control fellow individuals into believing what they believe, assuming anyone believing different to be inferior. Sadly, not many will ever know what I truly believe. Indeed like those I spoke of, my beliefs are very sacred to me. Raised in a home where I was taught to be an ambassador for my faith, my new practices of belief and religion disagree with this theory almost completely. I feel that if someone is truly intrigued by my way of life or belief system they will ask me. This inquiry will reflect to me that my practices are more physical/visual that verbal. This is the person I want to be.

I don't call myself a conspiracy theorist, instead I consider myself aware. In this awareness I have begun doing some intense research on mind control, both pertaining to MK ULTRA, MK NAOMI, and more. "Knowledge is power" echos in my mind as I search deeply trying to find what is true to ME. What resonates, what sinks into my soul, and what truly makes me feel alive. Sometimes I feel the more I know the less I know. Other times I feel as though I've found a missing piece of the puzzle. The more I learn about mind manipulation the more I realize that true liberty (IMO) is whatever you want it to be, as long as those things are truly your personal desires.

One of my newest practices usually occurs during disagreements. This is a great opportunity for me to show my acceptance of the corresponding individual regardless of our disagreeing beliefs : " Thank you for sharing, I accept that you feel that way." This response, to me, is thoughtful and kind. I find the general response to be the opposite. -

What keeps us from being able to accept information that is different from what we already know? Another positive quality about the response is that it brings the other individual into a place where they realize they are of higher value to you than the information that you do or do not share beliefs about. I understand that we are more than the words we speak. More than the things we say we are, are the things people see us doing. This is where the truth is. What I really do is a pure reflection of what I believe and how I feel mixed together. Those things will always speak louder to me.

I've been preached to more than once over the past couple years (NOT talking about my childhood. I'm talking about recent experiences) and one thing that I've learned is I don't believe I was placed here to preach, but to have my true identity flow freely for any who may care to see. That being said, I need to accept responsibility for the things I do in accordance to my identity. My dream is that I might inspire, or influence positive flow on some/any level.

Lots of heavy thoughts to start out the day. Please know I always love your feedback <3

Photos by Danielle Nicol From an art nude session this past summer.