October Synopsis

October has been a month of change and discovery.

With an increase in paid work this month in hopes to save and plan more for the future, there have been many unfamiliar feelings bubbling to the surface in my life.

Processing and letting these emotions be has been a process. It feels good to identify these feeling whilst not letting them take over who I am or what I do. Simply acknowledging them seems to help them to pass with much more ease than engaging with them directly.

I have a strong sense of relief as I realize the emotions will and can go often just as fast as they came.

October has allowed me an opportunity to grow my perspective and think about my passions whilst not engaging in them as often as I usually would. This has been a strange although very positive experience, as it has allowed me to think of the bigger picture.

I realize there are some things I truly love to do, but my reasons behind doing them contain a depth deeper than self-preservation or financial means. This reflective time has brought me to a high level of awareness of some of the most wonderful and meaningful connections I have made here in Calgary since I first started coming in and out of the city in 2015.

Art has connected to me to some of my closest friends., People I feel I can truly relate to and share my truths with. I am so grateful for & to these people. I am also grateful to October for bringing me the time and mind space to grow and build on these realizations.

On a different note, I find it strange I can never remember whether or not I've talked about my sharing less on social media (instagram).

I'm fairly sure I have, but I figure its been a few months and I figure it wouldn't hurt to touch on the subject again.

After feeling extremely cloudy-minded over the spring and summer, I decided to stop sharing so many aspects of my artistic journey on social media. Although I've always loved to share my art, I felt the process of sharing online was taking away from the experiences and interactions themselves.

I came to a point where I became very aware and somewhat tiresome of my phone always coming in between myself and the people I had set aside time to create with & be present with. I found my phone was constantly pulling me from the present, putting me into a state of past or future, as I shared information that had already happened or facts on what was coming. I can admit past and present thinking at a constant pace can easily make me feel anxious.If I hadn't known before, starting the book " The power of now" helped me bring awareness to this factor.

I guess long story short, I'm glad to be disconnected from the constant need to share the things I'm doing to feel a sense of importance/productivity/recognition. I do the things I do because I am passionate about them. Not because I need to be recognized.

The time disconnected from social media has given me more time to simply be and experience life. I find myself dancing more in my free time & I hope one day I can share that passion here. Until then I continue to practice. It is time I deeply enjoy. Below I've attached a photo of myself in my dance area. It brings me a deep sense of contentment to simply listen to & interpret the music as it resonates with my being.

On the subject of breaks, once more, I've also taken a short break from my normal sewing projects. In this time I've realized I truly missed sewing. I had forgotten how much I loved my small and personal up-cycling/mending projects. They bring me a great deal of satisfaction. I look forward to creating more time for these projects as I've been compiling a collection of clothing I intend to transform and personalize.

Happy October Friends.

As well, Happy Samhain.