Update

I have been living in my own space for almost 4 months now.

Although recent times have indeed required extra thought and speculation, the world has kept on spinning at its regular pace.

Parts of me feel like it's a race to catch up and stay up to date with the constant demands and changes of the modern world. Other parts strongly push me to evaluate where these pressures are truly stemming from.

I've been a bit distracted from my blogging this morning, partially because I've got several things on my mind I'd like to jot in my written journal to remember to work on in the next day or at a convenient time. Partially because Major Lazer just released a lot of new music and I've been finding it highly captivating.

I sometimes feel a sense of rush, especially in the mornings and on my days off..., to accomplish and preform. This could be for several reasons. For years I was up at dawn to work at the coffee shop and I've had other morning positions as well, several bringing me to rise even before the sun. I think there is a large part of me still that can see the benefits of rising early. There's something special about that time in the morning before most have woken up. A quiet and relaxing wispiness fills the air and I have often caught a taste of it on my tongue.

These distractions and anxieties are not my poor blogs fault, and this morning I'm glad it's my blog that has brought me to this awareness. This awareness about my thoughts and how they can carry me to different emotional states, sometimes, completely without my knowing. Also these distractions and anxieties are not all bad! They bring me to new awareness's about who I am and who I want to be and in retrospective I am grateful for them.

A meditation I listened to before bed 2 nights ago before bed provoked a light bulb moment for me through a few mantras: " My thoughts are my own." " I choose my thoughts and can choose different thoughts at any time." These words hit me powerfully and I reflected on the concept of shuffling through my thoughts like a deck of memories and information, choosing to focus on what I feel will be most beneficial and enriching to my soul and being.

I've been thinking a more detailed schedule for time that I'm not spending working at the pub would be really beneficial for me.

I sometimes struggle to choose how to spend my free time from a variety of things I find equally enjoyable and intriguing.

Even a list of Top 10 and 20 things I enjoy show potential as the outlay will likely allow me to observe which activities would fill the open spaces most appropriately.

I like the idea of time efficiency, I think I always have. Coming forefront into my own headspace in living independently has been a great opportunity to evaluate different parts of myself from a soft and encouraging environment.

Although I have been refraining from sharing most of my recent work from Instagram/ social media at this time, I continue to book and shoot with my long time friends and creative connections. In addition to those ongoing projects and concepts I have been warming myself up more to self portraiture and different concepts and ideas in that realm and also that of simple, somewhat ASMR focused cinematography.

It has been an exciting few weeks as I've felt very captivated and intrigued by a grand variety of life. Soft and continuous reminders to stay open fuel me with a braveness that I utilize to learn and try new things. Through the vast contrast of experiences I begin to form a solid sense of what fuels me and what drains my energy.

I have to note I do love the extra time, It allows me time with my thoughts and the opportunity to build perspective. As I go forward in schedule building I will need to continue to hold "unplanned" spaces for myself, just to be spontaneous mentally and physically as I like to do.

Below I've shared one from my last shoot with Vic Kirby just a few weeks ago. It was just before the snow but as the cold and frost was coming. This was a really great shoot and day and catch up with Vic.