Different

holy cow.

I spent multiple hours on a post that I was within minutes of publishing this morning.

1 swift move in the wrong direction with my finger, over the mouse, and all my work has been erased.

My super fast, efficient, pre-saving blog page went ahead and immediately saved the blank page after I made the mistake.

It was a lot.

And now I get to start from scratch again.

A concept that has taken me some time to understand and be okay with.

I've really just come to accept it as a part of life., the cycle of restart, rebuild, rediscover.

Some say there is no end, only new beginnings.

I met a lady name Ramona a few days ago. I sold her a pair of antique chairs already partially disassembled for reupholster.

She was so fun.

She invited me in and gave me a tour of the whole place.

She's staying there for now but soon it will be finished and ready to go at it's full potential as an air bnb.

She was inspiring to listen to and see in action.

Inspiration is a mysterious thing.

Where does it come from, where does it go to.., how can I direct it better?

There used to be a time I felt a deeper sense of control.

I tell myself that, and as I do I question my own belief in the reality of the statement.

I've heard and read so many philosophical teachings emphasizing the ideology that control is an illusion.

From what I know, control is not a gift.

I don't believe we exist to derestrict or confine one another.

I believe we exist to inspire and encourage each other.

I try not to down myself for feeling a loss of control.

Instead, softly, with the gift awareness, I realize I can empower myself by capitalizing on the things I can control, and redirected any unfocused energy and thought towards this process, deliberately and consistently to ensure maximum progression.